Saturday, September 10, 2011

I'm THAT Mom!

When I was first diagnosed one of my fears was missing everything. All the firsts that my kids would get to do. First day of school was foremost on my mind. I was so, so scared that I would not get to see Kyler and Ella go to Kindergarten.

When I was originally diagnosed over 3 years ago, I remember crying a river in the shower about missing Kyler's first day of Kindergarten. It hurt so bad so think about not getting to see him off.

My Dr was so grim about my prognosis that I truly believed I would be gone in less than a year. What a scary, scary thought for a 30 year old mother of two young children. I cant lie, I am still scared. But, I know the power of prayer. I am living proof of the power of prayer!!

I think that's why, when on Friday, I was THE mom that brought in 10 extra boxes of Kleenexs for K-mans class, a couple tubs of wipes, and some snacks I smiled when another mom said, Oh yeah, you are totally THAT MOM:)  Yes, yes I am. So, thank you Friend, you secretly made my day:)

Friday, September 2, 2011

What's That? I'm Normal?!!

This week I made my 8 week trip to Nashville. I was able to fly out locally so that was actually really, REALLY nice. I could get used to that! I think next time I am going to put in a request to stay at Hope Lodge. Its not my favorite place to stay. But, it is free, and around that time of year we have to think cheap!!

So, I arrived to my hotel Tuesday evening. On Wednesday my first appt was scheduled at 8:40, however I knew I needed to be there earlier because my first appt was a CT. I have to drink my barium an hour before I have my CT. However, due to road construction and Vanderbilt being back in school I got lost. Totally turned around. I hate being late. Hate it hate it hate it!! And even though technically I was actually still early for my appt, in my head it felt late. Yes, I'm weird. Leave me alone!

Anyway, I usually have my labs before my CT. For some reason I didnt this time. BIG MISTAKE!! Apparently the techs in the CT area do not know how to hit a flippin vein!! O.M.G! When you are sticking a needle in me you only get one shot. That's it. Then someone else gets to try. So, the two techs couldnt get a vein so they had to bring me to a different area where there were actual nurses. Two different nurses tried to get a vein and THEY couldnt get it either. They finally had their head nurse come over, whom I told, either you get it or I am done. I dont care if they need labs and an IV for my CT I am done. Plain and simple. The nurse was not happy about being the LAST one to try and get my IV in, but she was nice and she got the IV in no problem.

At this time I was a wreck. I was trying with all my might not cry. I was sick of being poked and I just knew that when I finally met with my Dr that he was going to tell me the cancer was back.

You see, I am a big fan of following the signs, and the signs were not good at this point!

So, they had a nosey LPN, who read my file the WHOLE WAY TO THE WAITING ROOM!! Totally NOT his business! But, he brought me back and left and I started bawling. Lucky for me I had my favorite CT tech and he was able to calm me down. He walked me back to get my CT and told really stupid jokes the whole way. It was just what I needed! I love him!

After my CT I had my labs and then went and met with my Dr. My favorite nurse tech checked me in and got my vitals. He then broke the news that Dr Magoo (I really like how Chelsea makes up names for her Drs so I think I am going to do that to. It makes me smile:) was out sick. What? Hold the phone! I just traveled a bzillion miles to see him!! But I was able to see Dr Spa, who was Dr Magoos intern  (or whatever they call it) so she knew me.

Now, here is where the news gets A.MAZ.ING!!!

The tumor in my hip, the one that actually got me in to this trial, is gone. Completely gone. In fact, Dr Spa thought it had been surgically removed! The tumor in my lymph node, is about .4-.5mm. So small that its hard to get a measurement on!! In fact, with that one she said if she hadnt read in my chart to look for it she wouldnt of thought anything about it. It looks like a "normal" person's lymph node!! AND, my LDH level, which is what they use to measure my cancer markers was within normal range.

Can you believe that?? I am an actual "normal" human being!! I have no signs of melanoma. Now, does that mean I can stop my chemo? Well, no. Its not as simple as that. I am NED BECAUSE of the medicine. If I stop the chemo, the cancer could, and probably would come back. And we certainly dont want that to happen now do we! So, I will continue to take my medicine. And I will continue to travel to Nashville every 8 weeks. And I will continue to remain cancer free. Because that's how I roll:)

A few weeks ago I found a lump in the lymph node behind my left ear. I spazzed out, because well that's what I do when I find an odd lump. I had already gone to my derm and my family physician about the lump. They both told me it was due to allergies, but after 4 days on a Zpac and the lump was still there I was really scared. So, I showed it to Dr Spa and she also agreed it was due to my sinus issues, but I still needed some convincing. I was already there. I wasn't coming back for 8 weeks. So I requested a fine needle biopsy. HOLY CRAP!! It hurt like hell, but all that came out of it was blood and "gunk"! In other words, it IS indeed a sinus infection! Dr Spa prescribed a stronger antibiotic for me and I am hoping it does the trick!

After that I drove to another medical building to meet with Dr Single, my derm, who was running an hour behind. He is never, ever behind. But that's ok, they have TVs in their patient rooms so I just watched a little Days of Our Lives and waited. When he finally joined me, he looked me over, agreed my skin looked great, and I left.

I then had to return to the Cancer Center to pick up my meds, because apparently they make the tiny little miracle pills right there on the spot. So, I went back and got my drugs and then I was FINALLY able to go to my hotel and rest.

And then my day got really good! HAPPY HOUR!! So, I enjoyed a few glasses of few wine to celebrate the good and bad parts of my day:)

Thank you all so much for your prayers! Keep praying! They are working!!