Saturday, July 23, 2011

What? You Have Cancer? Really?

Don't get me wrong, I dont ever mind hearing how fabulous I look, but I dont think that people, who dont have Melanoma, really get how dangerous it is. Because they look at me, I look fine, and they figure that is how it will work out for them.

Let me just be the first to say, that the last three years have sucked major monkey balls! I have fought my ass off (literally!! have you seen how thin I am?!) to get this far. I have researched. I have found the best doctors. And I know exactly what I will or wont try as far as chemo goes. I know alot about almost every melanoma chemo drug out there. That's just how I roll. I am a research junkie. That wont ever change. My husband, who is certainly more laid back I am (that's why we work so well together, I stress out, he stays extremely calm-it works for us:) has already been told, when I get to sick to fight that he will just have to fight for me! (PS My MIL and mother have also been told the same thing:) I have lots of fighters on my team!!

But, I do know that if you happen to see me walking down the street, here is what you will see:
a mommy, with a Princess holding one hand (probably in a swimsuit!) and a superhero holding the other hand. Both probably fighting over which hand to hold!
A mommy carrying a big bag filled with 100 SPF sunscreen, water, and snacks.
A mommy who loves her 2 children more than life itself.
Two beautiful children who love their mommy to the sun and back.
A mommy who will fight forever to be around for her children.

What you wont see is a mommy who worries every.single.day about Melanoma returning.
A mommy who is scared to death to cry in front of her kids.
A mommy who is in pain almost every night because of the damage that biochemotherapy did to my legs.
A mommy who wishes that cancer was all just a bad dream.
A mommy who will never ever stop fighting, researching, educating, and praying.
A mommy who truly believes that God has a plan for everyone. This is mine. There is definitely a reason I am still around.

And even though this mama is looking fabulous and kicking some cancer ass, please remember to wear your sunscreen and protect skin. Its the only skin you have! Protect it people!

2 comments:

  1. Dear Heather, as always continuing to ask our LORD to walk with you through this journey bringing His Healing Power as only He can. I too know and believe in my heart that you are hear and fighting to beat this cancer for purposes that we already know and also for some we may not know. Here as one of your prayer warriors! Keep on Keepin on!!!

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  2. Heather,
    I absolutely LOVE this post. I was diagnosed in Oct 2008 stage I, then again in Nov '10 stage IIIa. I did a month of Interferon in Jan and am currently doing inj 3x a week. I have 3 little ones 6yrs, 4yrs and 2 yrs. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in those feelings.

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