Sunday, December 19, 2010

Sense of Humor

I have proof that God has a sense of humor. And that he is a male. For sure a male. A funny, funny male at that.

Let me back up just a bit. I kept the details of some of my cancer a secret. For selfish reasons. For embarrassing reasons really. But the purpose of this blog is to raise awareness about Melanoma. To raise awareness about the dangers of TANNING BEDS and the sun. What better way to convince teenagers NOT to tan, then to tell the intimate details, right?

So here goes....way back in April 2009, goodness doesn't that seem like forever ago? To a person that was given 6 months to live it's pretty amazing that I am still here kicking ass:) Anywoo, way back then when we found out the cancer had come back and we were heading to MD Anderson the CT/PET scan showed that I had 4 tumors. One in my breast, and 3 in my ASS!! Seriously, you ask? Yes, seriously people.

After a couple rounds of biochemo 2 of the tumors disappeared, 2 in my tush remained. After 6 rounds they had certainly shrank but they were still there. They had to be surgically removed. Nice.

Proof that God is a funny, funny man.

One tumor was removed in Sept. The second in Dec. I had hella problems with the second tumor. I have never, ever showed my ass to so many people.

Proof, that God is a funny, funny man.

Now, fast forward to this most recent appt at Vanderbilt. No worries, my ass is fine:) However, the night before my appt I found a lump in my breast. Fabulous. I wasn't going to tell the Dr. Why? Because I like my Dr. I really didn't want to have to show him my boob! But, the morning of my appt I made the decision to tell him about it. I figured there was a reason I found it the night before.

So, I went to my appt and told my Dr. Then I showed him my boob.

Again, proof that God is a funny, funny man.

My Dr was worried. We had two options. One was a mammagram, but he didn't think it would really show us anything (and to be honest, he wasn't sure it would even work on me, I, ahem, wasn't really blessed in the clevage area....)the other option was a fine needle biopsy.  I choose that one.

Holy hell did that hurt! A tiny little needle was inserted into my nipple and moved in and out a whole bunch of times. Repeat that times 3!! Holy shit! After everything I have been through I am a pretty tough cookie. I have to be. But oh dear me, that hurt that a son of a bitch!

The preliminary results were back in about 30 minutes (yay for cancer centers that have all the equipment and facilities right there!) and turns out I have an infection in a mammary gland. Odd? yes. But am I complaining? Heck no! It's NOT CANCER! Just a silly little infection in my boob.

So, there you have it folks. I officially have proof that God is indeed a male with a very funny sense of humor.


  1. OH my word!!! That test sounds horrible!!! So glad to hear the results are great!

  2. You continue to amaze all of us. Your words make us laugh...yet through it all, we see your positive attitude and strength. Continue to stay strong...Happy Holidays to you and yours!

  3. You crack me up. I guess it would be weird showing all those doctors your ass all the time. And you were probably constantly feeling your ass too check the size of the tumors.

    Just for the fun of it, you should start telling people you have butt cheek cancer.

    P.S. I got your Christmas Card. OH MY GOSH - your kids are adorable!

  4. okay that seriously just made me cringe!! So glad it isn't cancer and way to kick cancer's ass girl!