Sunday, June 13, 2010

More...

So, I am constantly finding new lumps. These are different from any that I have discovered before. However, I am fairly certain they are melanoma. So, in theory this damn drug worked less than 2 months on me. I am pissed. I am angry. I am sad. I am scared.

But, I do have a plan. Which if you know me, you are not surprised to hear this. When the RO5 was working wonders on me, I was only taking it. No supplements, at all. I was then taken off the RO5 for a week and a half, then when I was restarted on it, it was at a lower dose, but I was also allowed to take my supplements. I have always wondered if the supplements were affecting the effectiveness. I have decided to stop all of my supplements, including the IVs of Vitamin C, for now. I have already emailed my nurse at MDA to give me a call. I am hoping to make an appt at MDA for the end of next week. If the RO5 begins working, then I will know that the supplements are affecting the uptake of the RO5. If new spots continue to pop up, then I will keep the appt at MDA and see what my oncologist there recommonds. If the spots begin shrinking, then I can cancel my appt at MDA and just discontinue the supplements.

I don't know what to expect. I really thought this would work longer. I really did. I am in complete shock that this is happening. The hard part about trial drugs is you just don't know what will make it work or how long it will work. Hopefully my nurse at MDA has some helpful suggestions.

Please continue to pray for me, and for my family. It hurts so bad, knowing that my kids may be forced to grow up without their mother. It's not fair. Not fair at all. Something has to work on this. Right?

14 comments:

  1. Oh, Heather. We are praying...constantly! Your way of looking at this is so inspiring. You are always looking ahead and making a plan, preparing for whatever it is you need to do next. And I think I would be so selfish, worried about missing my kids, where you are thinking of them and how they would miss you. I'm sure the other thoughts are there, too, but it's so evident that you're putting your kids first. Hang in there!!! Don't give up (I know you won't!!)!

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  2. Heather...you are in my thoughts and prayers often! This cancer does suck big monkey balls! I pray that once you go off the supplements the lumps you are feeling will shrink...you do not deserve this!!

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  3. We are all praying for you. You will beat this!! Everyday there is hope for new medications (recently in the news...Augmerosen)which are showing success with this awful disease. Please know how much we pray for your success.

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  4. Well shit. I am so sorry friend. That truly sucks donkey balls.

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  5. I just now saw your update. I am here and I have shared your story with others who are praying too. Know that I am here if you need me to do anything that you can think of, please let me know! Continuing to PRAY and EXPECTING OUR LORD TO ACT ON YOUR BEHALF! terry

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  6. Ugh. Cancer is so unfair. Thinking of you and your family and praying for new break throughs.

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  7. Wow, I am stunned and have no words; just know that prayers will continue.

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  8. I'm praying. I will ask our church to pray for you too. God bless your sweet mama heart.

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  9. Praying for you girl! You are so strong and your kids deserve to have you in their lives for a long time! The Lord blesses all you ask! I pray that he will bless you!

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  10. I am so sorry, but I admire how hard you fight, keep fighting, we will keep praying.

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  11. I found your blog by accident as I was looking up everything I could find about melanoma. Your story is very inspiring and I am going to share your blog with my 37 year old niece who has also been diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma. She hasn't actually been able to even start treatment yet because everytime she has a test ran more bad news follows. They have given her a 12 month prognosis IF the clinical trial she starts next week is successful. You will be inspiring to her as a cancer patient and a mother. She has two children, one that it autistic, and she is determined to do whatever it takes to continue being their mommy. Good luck to you, I will be praying for you.

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  12. Effin'CANCER!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!! I hate that it is putting you through this. I hate the pain, the frustrations, the hurt it is causing you. This probably doesn't help much, but please know we are always thinking of you...rooting for you...and envisioning the day when you tell us you are free from this terrible disease. xoxox

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