Thursday, March 11, 2010

Death and Dying...

...are two things that I think about a lot. Unfortunately. I don't want to think about it. And honestly, the thought doesn't consume me during the day. But, at night, while I lay in bed, it's all I can think of. I think about our day. I think about any regrets I have and what I would have done differently. I think about the memorable moments and what my kids will remember about today.

Something I do with the kids everyday is ask them to tell me what their favorite thing was about the previous day. Sometimes it's something silly like, we had hot dogs for lunch. And sometimes it's something fun, like we went to the zoo. Either way, I love hearing it. I love that they remember something that we did together.

I am working so, so hard to build these wonderful memories, because, let's be honest, we don't know how much time I have. But, we don't know how much time anyone has. Anything could happen to any one of us at any given time. Scary, right?!

The other morning one of my good friends that I talked about in this post (PS the lump came back as a fatty tumor not cancerous btw!) was getting ready for a funeral at our church. When she told her 4 year old daughter that she had to go to a funeral, her 4 year old starting bawling. When her mommy asked her why, she told her she thought it was because I had died. When my friend explained it wasn't me, she calmed down, but the sad part is, is that she can't say that won't ever happen. Sucks, right?!

I don't know about you guys but I am so over this cancer thing. I am just sick of it. I am sick of researching. I am sick of telling my story. I am sick of thinking about cancer. I am sick of stressing out. I am just sick of it all. After fighting for almost 2 years I am getting a little irritated. Please pray that this trial at Vanderbilt will work out. I have many options, but this will probably be my best bet. Keep those fingers and toes crossed.

The point of this post was to help some of you remember that life is truly to short. The next time your kid does something silly and you are at the end of your rope, remember me, remember my kids, but most importantly, remember your kids. Life is just to short.The naughty behavior will pass. I promise.

I would love to know what you do to make each day memorable for your kids.


  1. Thinking of you and love you always!!!!!

  2. Leaving you a little comment love :-)

  3. I have been reading your blog for a while now. My sister, Amanda Hatch (from Indiana) found your blog and my entire family is following your journey.
    Cancer SUCKS!! I hate it! I hate what it does. I hate everything about it! But...You have been so amazing during this ugly fight. I have been amazed and inspired at the way you have handled everything. Your honesty is refreshing!!
    We are praying for you, your husband, and your cute kids. Continue to fight hard!!

  4. Leaving you some comment love. ((((hugs))))

    I keep you in my prayers.

  5. Your story is so inspiring. After reading your blogs I think back to yesterday or days before with my boys and think "maybe I was too hard on them, they are only little once."
    Your family is always in our hearts and prayers, I am blessed to have met you and to hear your story. I try to not pry too much with questions ( I am sure it wears you out repeating yourself over and over, as well as letting the DEMON have the attention) I just want you to know that if there is anything I or my family can help with it would be our pleasure:-)
    You are an amazing woman Heather!! Kick some ASS~