Today we find out the results from not only my scans, but also from a dear friend's biopsy. I think that is why I haven't freaked out to much about mine. I have been freaking out about hers to much!
She was having some tingling in her hand for a few days, and woke up one day and her whole hand was swollen. She was started on steroids and antibotics, but nothing helped. She had a mass the size of a marble removed on Wednesday and the pathology from that should be back on Friday.
Friday, the same day that I will find out my results. Pretty sure I am not strong enough to handle both of us having cancer. She is like a sister to me. I love her and I love her children. She is strong. Very strong. But, no young mama should have to go though this. No one should have to go through this. Cancer is stupid. And cancer sucks monkey balls! (My new fav saying, BTW)
Whenever I think about my cancer returning it's like my stomach just drops to the ground. It's like riding on a roller coaster. This journey has been like riding on a roller coaster. Have I ever told you that I HATE roller coasters?!! Seriously, not a huge fan. Especially now! My life is enough of a roller coaster, I certainly don't need to ride on a real one!
For some reason I feel really confident that the cancer has not returned. Not sure why. As you know, I am not overly positive, nor overly negative, I get enough of each from my MIL and Mother. I try to be the level headed one. The right down the middle gal. I know the what ifs and the what nows and I am prepared to ask them. But, I am secretly hoping that I won't even have to. I know that the chances of the cancer returning is great. But, like Aunt A loves to say, someone has to be in the 13%, why not Heather. So, from now on, that is my new fav number and my new motto. I shall be in that 13%. Why not? I deserve it. My life is finally returning to normal. My life is great, quite honestly. I am a normal mom.
In fact, the other day I was talking to some moms at K's preschool and I told them that I couldn't be there for the V Day party, but was willing to bake whatever they needed me to. I explained that I was returning to Houston for my follow up PET and MRI. They looked at me like I was crazy and asked, you're doing what. They had no idea I had cancer and had been going through all of this. Considering, I have been through hell and back, it is a wonderful compliment to hear that they had no idea. They also referred to me as supermom, so that felt pretty good too:)
My Dr appt tomorrow is around 2:30 and we are heading home right afterwards. I will not be able to update on here, but I will post an update on Facebook as soon as I can (I can do that from my phone!). If I do not have you on facebook, but you would like to be added, leave me a comment with your name or with your email address and I will try to figure out how to add you as a friend, from my phone. Could be interesting!
Sjogren's and Bicycles
4 days ago