Sunday, September 20, 2009

The Removal

The surgery was performed on Monday. I freaked out a little bit, but all in all, it went ok. They were only able to remove one tumor. They were not able to find the other one. I am a little freaked about this. Even though it did not show up as active on the PET scan, it still could be cancerous. And that, my friends, is a little scary.

At this time the plan is to go back to Houston in November for a repeat PET scan and appointment with the Dr. I am not sure I am very fond of this plan. That just seems like a lot of wait time. What if it actually is active and starts spreading? The thought of that actually brings tears to my eyes. These are not things that a 31 year old mother should be worrying about. It's not fair. I have two beautiful children that need and deserve to have their mommy. This whole situation just makes me so damn angry.

Before we left Houston they did a blood test to see if I had a certain protein in my blood for a melanoma trial vaccine. Of course, I do not contain the protein. The test results also came back on what they removed and it came back as melanoma-of course! I knew that it would come back as cancer, but it's still a bit of blow to hear it out loud. After 6 very, very awful rounds of chemo, it's hard to believe that I still have cancer in my body. Nothing about this seems very fair. Not fair at all.

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