Sunday, September 20, 2009

The Removal

The surgery was performed on Monday. I freaked out a little bit, but all in all, it went ok. They were only able to remove one tumor. They were not able to find the other one. I am a little freaked about this. Even though it did not show up as active on the PET scan, it still could be cancerous. And that, my friends, is a little scary.

At this time the plan is to go back to Houston in November for a repeat PET scan and appointment with the Dr. I am not sure I am very fond of this plan. That just seems like a lot of wait time. What if it actually is active and starts spreading? The thought of that actually brings tears to my eyes. These are not things that a 31 year old mother should be worrying about. It's not fair. I have two beautiful children that need and deserve to have their mommy. This whole situation just makes me so damn angry.

Before we left Houston they did a blood test to see if I had a certain protein in my blood for a melanoma trial vaccine. Of course, I do not contain the protein. The test results also came back on what they removed and it came back as melanoma-of course! I knew that it would come back as cancer, but it's still a bit of blow to hear it out loud. After 6 very, very awful rounds of chemo, it's hard to believe that I still have cancer in my body. Nothing about this seems very fair. Not fair at all.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Scoop

For those of you who are not addicted to Facebook (like me!) here is the update:

We are still in Houston. We met with the surgeon on Friday and it was decided that the surgery would take place on Monday since we were here and wouldn't have to make an extra trip.

Two tumors remain. However, they are very, very small. The one that I could feel is now 1 cm wide and the other tumor is even smaller. The tumor on the right side (the one I could feel) they are for sure removing. The tumor on the left side is another story. It is very small and surrounded by fat so the surgeon was not sure she would be able to find it. I have an appt with ultrasound tomorrow morning and if the tech can find it then they will remove it. If they can't find it then they can't remove it. It's a little nerve racking.

When I had my PET scan there was no sugar uptake to that particular tumor which usually means there is no cancer left, it is just tissue. However, melanoma does not always have sugar uptake. Personally, I want it out. Take it all, fat, cancer, whatever, just get it out. I do not want any signs what so ever of cancer.

Please pray that they will be able to find both the tumors and that they can both be removed. Please pray that everything goes as planned tomorrow. Surgery is planned for 11am. Think of us.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Back To Houston

Tomorrow we are heading back to Houston. I have lots of scans scheduled on Thursday and then appts with the surgeon and my oncologist scheduled for Friday.

Since we don't know when the surgery will be we have decided to drive this time and leave the munchkins behind with the grandparents. 10-11 hours in a car is just to much for a 1 year old.

Hopefully we will be home by Saturday so this should be a short trip. A lot will be determined by the surgeon. We can't schedule the surgery until the Dr sees how deep and how large the remaining tumors are.

Right now we are praying that the tumors are very small and that they are just tissue, no cancer. I would appreciate it if you would take a sec and say a quick prayer for me also. Thanks:)

We are nearing the end of this journey and for that I am grateful. I have been fighting this fight for over a year and that is a long time if you ask me! This mama is ready to be done!