Thursday, July 9, 2009

18 Months plus 1 Day

Today marks two important milestones in my life. My baby girl turns 18 months. 18 months, I can't believe it. Where oh where has time gone? It also marks the day that I was diagnosed with cancer. So, yes, the day that my baby girl turned 6 months was the day that the Dr broke the wonderful news to me that he was 99% sure that it was Melanoma and that it didn't look good.

I remember everything about that day. I remember getting ready for the Dr appt and thinking it would be no big deal. Not one time did I ever think that the spot on my calf was cancer. Never. Now I think every little thing on my body is cancer.

I remember sitting in the waiting room.

I remember showing the nurse the spot on my calf.

I remember her silence as she looked at it and looked at me.

I remember the Dr looking at the spot and asking me why I wasn't in there sooner.

I remember him telling me it was cancer.

I remember him feeling the lymph nodes in my groin and asking me how long those had been enlarged.

I remember the Dr removing the spot on my calf and lecturing me about the sun.

I remember calling my mom and telling her to have the phone close because I needed her.

I remember calling my mom back and her not answering.

I remember calling my husband and him saying "Ok" and me wanting to beat him for his response.

I hated that day. And I hate that I hate it. It was the day my little Princess turned 6 months, I shouldn't hate that day. But I do.

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