Monday, July 27, 2009


After reading my hubands last post I think I have realized just how bored he must be! I'm not sure what else I can get him to do while we are here. He reads, he works, he watches movies, I bought him a DS, he doesn't really care for puzzles and such. Any ideas?

As for me. I am doing ok. I have thrown up a few times, have contracted a bladder infection (can you saw AWFUL-as if I don't have enough going on!) and slept a lot. I haven't really swelled that much this time and my skin didn't peel off like it usually does so those are some positives! Usually my skin just peels off like I have a really, really, really bad sunburn. It's quite gross. But, the Dr lowered the Interluekin 2 because my counts weren't coming up like he wanted them to so hopefully this will make a difference with that, but not with the whole kicking cancer's ass thing!

My mom emailed me some pics of the kids tonight and even though it brought tears to my eyes because I miss them more than anything in the world, it was great to see their cheesy little faces! Thanks Mom. I can't wait to see my gorgeous little munchkins tomorrow night.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

On Our Way

Today we get to head home! Yippee! I am ready to be home. I am ready to see my kids. I am ready to feel sane again! This has been a rough trip. Rough doesn't really explain it. It's just been a different kind of trip. They experimented with different types of meds for my headaches, and let's just say that some of them made me a little fruity!

I had my very, very favorite Dr on rounds this time so that was nice. He is simply wonderful. He knows me very well, and by Sunday he knew I was not myself and ordered for the chemo to be turned off. Which was probably a good idea. I couldn't function. What a weird feeling.

I realize in this post I may have sounded like a bit of a downer. I apologize. I realize that two extra rounds is actually a good thing because it means that the chemo is working and is getting rid of the cancer. I understand that. But, when you get your heart set on only having one more round and you have a vacation with the kids all planned out, it's hard to hear that those things won't be happening. We are still going to try to go in Oct or Nov, hopefully it won't be to chilly. I do believe we will be skipping the outdoor swimming activities:)

Please don't think that I am being negative. Not that I am an overly positive person, because I'm not, I am simply a realistic person. I know that shit happens, I know that shit usually happens to me, but I also know that not ALL the shit happens to me. I have two beautiful children and a wonderful husband to prove that:) See, I'm being realistic:)

Please keep praying that the biochemotherapy hell that I am going through continues to work on this stubborn cancer and that my body continues to handle it so well. Your prayers, thoughts, and well wishes help more than you know.

Monday, July 20, 2009


Tomorrow we leave for Houston. My heart is heavy. I have had a great week with the kids. We have hit the zoo, Target, Walmart, the park, the mall, played in the slip n' slide, sprinklers, and pool, grilled out and had lots of picnics. Life has been great. Sometimes it's easy to forget that I have cancer. Except for the whole being exhausted thing! But, seriously, aren't all mommies exhausted? Isn't that just part of the game? If you're one of those moms with tons of energy, don't tell me! I don't wanna hear it!

Sometimes, when my munchkins are asleep I just go into their rooms (ok Ella's room, Kyler won't sleep in his room-still!) but anyway, I just stare at them while they sleep and realize how truly lucky I am to have them in my life. If my cancer would have been discovered earlier, Ella wouldn't be in my life. I can't even imagine that. Yes, it would have been better if I would have caught it earlier, but that is one heck of a price to pay. Can you even imagine not seeing pics of Ella on here?! I can't.

So, for tonight I will hold my babies extra tight and give them extra kisses to make up for missing out on a whole week of lovin'.

Bit of A Rough Day

To all

Today has been a little bit of a rough day. Our day started early with one of the night nurses coming in to take vital signs and then not being able to fall back to sleep afterwards. Heather did go back to sleep after about 30 minutes, but I was up and up for good at 5:00 this morning. Since sleep was inevitable I decided to put on a movie to pass the time (in case you are wondering the movie was "Walk Hard: the Dewey Cox Story" - great movie). Towards the end of the movie I heard a little bit of mumbling come from Heather over the my headphones. I ripped one of the head phones out to hear what she needed and I got -

"Cody go upstairs and get the milk it is starting to sour." My instant confused reply was "What's wrong?" Heather decided she had had enough of my confusion and stated louder and more sternly "Go upstairs and get the milk it is going bad!!" I did the smart thing and ignored the comment and went back to my movie. This time leaving only one head phone on such that I could hear any more requests from Heather.

About 30 minutes later, Heather yelled stop touching me and get up and play with Kyler. Just so you know I am sitting in my chair/bed about 4 feet away from her hospital bed. At this moment I was very confused. It was only 6:30 and I have been in trouble twice and Heather hasn't even technically woken up.

We got a visit from the doctor a little later in the morning and they started a new drug to help with the headaches. After taking the drug she took a short little siesta. The problem with this siesta was before she woke up she yelled "I don't read lips people now talk." Apparently, I had been starting a fight with Jesse from the show Big Brother in the wonderful chair/bed, but both of us had no capability to talk. Heather was doing the nice person thing and trying to stop a fight, but I am sitting here in shock wondering "Ok, what is going on here, normally when I get in 'trouble' I know it is coming, but she has been sleeping this whole time, and I seem to be in deep shit".

I began to tell her about some of these incidents after lunch, and she's like really. That is weird, and I can kind of remember the dreams associated with those events. Then she asked me, and she was awake at the time, if I had been letting Belle (our pug) out to go potty while she was sleeping. She said she keeps thinking Belle is in the room hanging out with us. She also said that when she has heard any movies that I have playing through the speakers and not the head phones she thinks that Kyler is over here in my lap watching movies with me.

Now one would think those little stories would be the end of the crazy comments from Heather in one day, but she took an afternoon nap. This nap would bring the grand finale to funny comments. She leaned over in my direction and said "Cody would you make sure the alarm is on the hairspray!" My instant response was "Weirdo, What are you talking about" She said the "The can of hairspray needs a fire alarm on it, or it will catch fire!!"

So I have been in trouble a lot today for working and watching movies in my chair. While Heather has slept. I guess the random troubleness comes with the territory, but it has been quit funny. I won't tell her she promised me a puppy for Christmas, sshhhh that will be our little secret.

Wish me luck for tomorrow and tonight who knows what the sleep will bring.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Quick Update

To all of Heather's faithful readers:

Heather had asked me to put a quick post up on her blog. I originally thought about writing about my disgust that Subway still utilizes the term "Sandwich Artist" when they really are just counter workers and don't give a "flip" about how your sandwich really looks or if they get everything on the sandwich. I then thought about descrbing how Heather and I were going to move to Australia after chemo. Don't worry, this idea came out of a sleep deprived state following watching the movie "Australia". However I nearly had Heather convinced to go!! The third thought I was going to write about was how I am trying to convience Heather to let me build a boat, but I know that would just get me in trouble. So I have decided to give just a quick update on how Heather is doing this round of chemo.

Compared to other rounds Heather has done very well. she has fought very little nauseua until yesterday afternoon, and hardly any vomitting until yesterday afternoon. Now she can't seem to keep any food down. The other thing that she has really been battling this time is a severe headache. They give her medicine for the headache, and it works, but it is only a short term "cure".

The major difference (even though it is really a minor difference) in this round of chemo compared to the last rounds is the amount of sleep she has had. Friday she was awake for maybe two hours over that 24 hour time period. Saturday she was awake more, but she basically slept much of the day. Friday she has completely lost, and she is having difficulties figuring out the day of the week. She is falling asleep at weird times too, the other day we were having a video conference with the kids and she fell asleep in mid-sentence.

Mentally and emotionally, this has been a difficult round and weeks leading into the round. This round was supposed to be round 5 of 6, meaning the end was in sight and we could for lack of a better term move on from the cancer period of our lives. With the news of this weeks where we will probably have two more rounds added, it has been a bit of a blow. She is taking it in stride though, and will find a way to get through.

I do have to thank and commend every one of her readers for the support you have given her and us. My pledge son from the fraternity I belonged to in college, wrote me the other day and was in amazement from the comments and displays of encouragement that was have coming our direction. Thank you for the amazing words of encouragment it definitely has gone a long ways in getting us through. This journey has made us realize who our real family and friends are. Thank you all of you wonderful people.

Kind Regards,


Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Good and The Bad

I have news.

We met with the Dr today and reviewed my PET scan and MRI results. According to the PET I am down to 2 tumors and they are shrinking at a rapid rate.

Two rounds ago the large tumor measured 1.7cm, now it is measuring 1.2cm. That is over 25% shrinkage. The Dr was thrilled with that progress. Apparently, that much shrinkage between the 3rd and 4th rounds is not common.

In fact, he was so enthused with this news that he decided to add two more rounds to the end. I am not happy about this at all. I was so excited about being done next month. This will extend my chemo into October. I am so sad. I had already planned a family vacation in September and zoo classes for the kids and family pictures. It's been a rough day. A day of ups and downs. I am sick of Houston. I am sick of leaving my kids. I am sick of feeling like shit. I just want to feel normal again. I just want to be able to take care of my munchkins again. I just want to be cancer free again!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

18 Months plus 1 Day

Today marks two important milestones in my life. My baby girl turns 18 months. 18 months, I can't believe it. Where oh where has time gone? It also marks the day that I was diagnosed with cancer. So, yes, the day that my baby girl turned 6 months was the day that the Dr broke the wonderful news to me that he was 99% sure that it was Melanoma and that it didn't look good.

I remember everything about that day. I remember getting ready for the Dr appt and thinking it would be no big deal. Not one time did I ever think that the spot on my calf was cancer. Never. Now I think every little thing on my body is cancer.

I remember sitting in the waiting room.

I remember showing the nurse the spot on my calf.

I remember her silence as she looked at it and looked at me.

I remember the Dr looking at the spot and asking me why I wasn't in there sooner.

I remember him telling me it was cancer.

I remember him feeling the lymph nodes in my groin and asking me how long those had been enlarged.

I remember the Dr removing the spot on my calf and lecturing me about the sun.

I remember calling my mom and telling her to have the phone close because I needed her.

I remember calling my mom back and her not answering.

I remember calling my husband and him saying "Ok" and me wanting to beat him for his response.

I hated that day. And I hate that I hate it. It was the day my little Princess turned 6 months, I shouldn't hate that day. But I do.