Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Results

The Dermatologist just called with the results and they are not good.

All three spots that he removed came back as Melanoma cancer. It's what he figured so I was sort of expecting it, but it was still a hard thing to hear.

I have an appt with my oncologist set for Thursday to see what path we take now. I also have an evaluation set up for next week at The Cancer Treatment Centers of America. I also have a call in to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas for an evaluation. As you can see, lots of different Dr appts, but lots of expertise. Hopefully someone will be able to tell us where to go from here.

Needless to say, I am pretty pissed. I'm pissed that I have gone through the last 8 months for nothing. I am pissed that it came back while I am in treatment. I am pissed that I won't actually be done in August. I am pissed that most people have success while on Interferon. And, well, I'm just pissed.

As for what to pray for now, pray that we caught it before it spread to any organs. I'll be honest, once Melanoma spreads to the organs I'm screwed. I'm pretty aware of my body on the outside, however, what goes on on the inside is any one's guess.

I think right now I am in a bit of denial. I am going through a lot of different emotions right now. I expected this. I knew last week that it was going to come back as cancer. My dermatologist is one of the best. This result was expected. It's still a hard thing to grasp though. I don't want cancer to win this fight. I have two beautiful babies that still need me. Kyler is the biggest mama's boy there is. What would he do if he didn't have me? The thought hurts to much to even think about.

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