Yesterday I started the shots.
I was tired, but hey, I'm used to that. I'm a mom on chemo! I can handle the tired.
It's the nausea that I can't stand!
Yesterday I was nauseous on and off. It would come and go.
Today however I am EXTREMELY nauseous.
I have some Reglan which seems to work well on the nausea, however it totally knocks me out. I am home, by myself, with the kids. Can't really be knocked out.
I have some samples of a drug called Anzemet. I have never taken it so I am a little nervous about taking it when I am home, alone, with the kids.
I think, for now, I am going to deal with the nausea and just wait for Cody to call and tell me he is almost home. Then I will take the Anzemet and see how I do.
I thought life would be better on the shots.
Life, so far, is not better. Nausea and fatigue are no way to live.
I can't do this for the next 11 months. There is no way.
I will miss out on everything.
This makes me angry.
I am scared that Kyler and Ella will some day remember that I missed out on everything.
I am scared that Kyler is not going to be a mama's boy any more.
I am scared that Ella is not going to be a mama's girl any more.
I am scared that Kyler is never going to be potty trained!
I am scared that Kyler will go to preschool and not know what all the other kids know.
I am scared that Ella is never, EVER going to sleep through the night!
Ok, so some of those had nothing to do with cancer or treatment, they are however, things that I have been freaking out about. Please feel free to tell me that everything with be ok.
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