Monday, August 11, 2008

The First Day

Today is it.

The big day.

The first day of my Immunotherapy treatment.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I am. Very scared.

I am scared of what this treatment is going to do to me.

How will my body react?

Will I be able to function? Will I be able to take care of my kids? Will I be able to take care of myself?

I am also sad. Sad that today is the last day that I can breastfeed my precious little princess. No, I haven't really been weaning. I don't want to stop. I enjoy nursing her. She enjoys it also. It's not fair. None of this is fair.

I'm not sure what I have cried more over. Quitting breastfeeding or beginning treatments.

Maybe I have shed tears over both evenly.

Please think of and pray for me today as I begin this stupid journey to kick cancer's ass. I know that I will win. I have no doubts about that. I am just scared to go through hell and back to beat it.

I am so lucky to have my family and friends with me as I begin this. Thank you all for that.

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